Ok Here Come The Tips
After that big long chaotic thing at the beginning and then when it faded out... yeah you know where I'm talking about... you coulda had a kick going on laying down a nice beat along with a snare or something. I don't know it just needs a beat.
Ok and right after that you could have had saw with a melody line. Something to just really catch the listeners' ears. Maybe a Benassi hook would have been pretty good in here...
Ok going on. Build up the music and make the listener really get into it with a nice groove. Then break it down. Let the tension release and calm them down. Then bam! Samck 'em in the face with the climax of the song. Really let it fly and MAKE us vote a 5.
This could have gone a long way with some more thinking to it and a great deal of refining on the quality as well. These are just a few suggestions and you don't have to follow them but this is what I PERSONALLY think you could do. And I know you have the potential.